30days30poems #2

How do you
say you love me
and verbally abuse me in the same moment?
And every wrong I point out to you
you cant own it
Tell me how you feel for me,
but never shown it
got me searchin for love outside the home.
Shit
I thought you were the best that I could get
I mean, the best there was out here
But you quickly changed my mind
when I cried my first tears in your face
you just told me "this isnt the place"
told me to fix myself together, you kno,
wipe off my face
Submissively, I do as Im told
thinking it would get me in good grace
Not the case as we never discussed
that days occurrences or what was happening between us
you just simply
let it go
And I didnt know what to think
wasnt sure if you were concerned
or if this didnt mean a thing between you and I
So I let that day die
But when we kept having the same consistent issues
that always result in me lookin for tissues
and my heart feeling the pain of being misused,
I knew what I had to do
And it hurt me the most...
So
Time goes and I aint heard from you in years
and I have already moved passed imagining you in my biggest fears
had already shed endless tears;
I moved on
I mean I had finally stopped crying when I heard our favorite song
Stopped the side chuckles when something reminded me of you
Essentially, my feelings were few
That's when, a phone call came through
"Hello? Who's This? ........Earl?"
You start feeling my head with "you've always been my favorite girl"
amd "how are you doing now?"
and then you told me you love me
and I quickly respond "how?"
I mean cause I didnt uderstand
Then you asked me to marry you
and move with you to Japan
cause that was your next station,
Explain that ur love for me was blatant
And your leaving was no vacation
And that nite I cried, cause I had lost my patience
cause for so long I waitied
just to here you say this
and it just so happens that your feelings gather,
when it no longer matters....