30days30poems #14

I thought of you
And couldnt figure out why
the thoughts were so deep I had to advert my eyes
to see if you were around...
Not one sound
my heart hits the ground
Cause I found myself thinking of you...again
I remember when we were just friends
It was all so complicated for me
cause you wanted to keep me at a distance
when I wanted you there heavily
to others, your poison was deadly
but it was a cure for me...
its always been hard to explain
cause in the midst of you bringing me pain...
you had reign over my heart
to a point where I believe my savior couldnt bring us apart...
*laugh* So mistaken
Cause when you were ready to go,
you made it blatantly known
but no signs of giving up were shown
No whistles were ever blown
no time outs to be called
my world just turned around
and to my dismay, I had fallen....
disoriented to a point where I heard you callin my name
But you were no where close by
and I hated that you were always in my mind,
even when I closed my eyes...
So I denied the hurt
and pushed anger out my spirit
and was happy when days came someone said your name
and I could bare to hear it...
yet, one sense is triggered
and all comes back to me
though how joy never stayed,
when we were together, I was happy
Never willing to go back
cause time has run its course
but at times, I look back with remorse
while thinking predictable "what ifs", of course...